Benefits of habit “Practice not getting defensive”
✓ Encourages the look of professionalism
✓ Boost confidence
✓ Increases overall morale
First step:
Don’t be defensive in a conversation
Progress:
1. Next time during a conversation, if you feel the need to get defensive, don’t. Instead, offer at least 1 good argument on why your viewpoint is worthwhile.
2. Do this as often as possible, increasing the number of arguments you give with each time.
Helpful tips to make it a habit:
✓ Trigger your mind. Carry a bracelet, a stress ball or other item, easy to reach and discreet, that you would associate with this new habit. Whenever you feel the need for defensiveness, touching or feeling the item on your skin should trigger a very different reaction.
✓ Let the app help. Track the days you actively chose to not get defensive in the calendar of this app and observe the number increase.
Tips for beginners:
✓ Observe yourself. On what topics do you get defensive? Is it work related? Do you have doubts about your work? Or is it your hobby or passion, like painting, writing? Or do you get defensive about your looks? Try to get to the bottom of why you get defensive.
✓ Find arguments. Root out the very reasons why you’re feeling defensive. For each reason, find many more not to get defensive about, but reasons why you’re doing what you’re doing. For yourself first, but for others that attack you as well.